Experience Love

“Love, experienced thus, is a constant challenge; it is not a resting place, but a moving, growing, working together; even whether there is harmony or conflict; joy or sadness, is secondary to the fundamental fact that two people experience themselves from the essence of their existence, that they are only one with each other by being one with themselves, rather than by fleeing from themselves.”

~ Erich Fromm

Reflections on Co-parenting

Sharing what I love most in this world with the person I like least in this world has been one of the greatest challenges of my life. It has also been a strong place of personal growth. I often find myself stuck in this dichotomous pull between gratitude and a place of hatred, regarding the sharing of the parental rights of my daughter.

When I miss her I am given the opportunity to reflect on what I have been blessed with. It is when my heart is yearning for her, that then, when we reunite, we share an ethereal sense of appreciation for the love we share. When we are together it is so special, to us both. I wonder if I were to not have the opportunity to share in the parental experience with someone as difficult as my ex-husband, would I really be as appreciative as I am for my beautiful daughter? Being there only half of the time is heartbreaking because of how much I love that girl.

Co-parenting has in some ways been a gift. I am not saying that I'd sign up for it, however, I have been given the opportunity to be more grateful for something that I may have taken for granted otherwise. I do have an underlying sense of faith and belief as well that this circumstance has maybe come to me to teach me something, or that regardless of a situation I can always let it make me better, or worse.

Something I've learned over the last 28 years is that I have a choice in every circumstance. During my parental journey I can choose to see the good or choose to see the bad. Since It is my experience, I am choosing acceptance, which makes it easier all around. To resist my situation, which would be so easy to do, but it would only make things more painstaking for Madilynn, Dan and I. Instead I want to choose to be better, to stay happy, to be fruitful.  Even though I missing my daughter terribly right now, I am choosing gratitude today. I know that next time we are together, it will be that much better because of my heart growing fonder while she is away.

Sweet Satori. a new begining.

Sometimes it is nice to start anew. Putting the whatever 'was' behind us. Leaving the past is freeing, especially when something is causing us a feeling of inhibition. Newness feels clean, and refreshing. Starting something from scratch allows for a whole new unique creation to form.

I often have thought about returning to blogging, and every time I went to go write I'd find myself hesitant. I felt as though that I had outgrown the words that were written on the pages of aspiringtolivelife.blogspot.com, I just didn't know how to return to something that didn't paint an accurate picture of the person that I am today.

This is a new begining. Satori seemed like a fitting word. Satori is a beautiful thing that has quite a complex meaning. To give you the jist of it, "it is acquiring a new point of view for looking at things. Religiously, it is a new birth; intellectually, it is the acquiring of a new viewpoint." It describes so well where I am at in this moment. Living every moment in newness.

Life is so exciting when we live every moment as a though it is new, seeing it with a clear, untainted perspective - not seeing it through the goggles of past experience. Just like an innocent child, who is untainted, has pure joy for everything they see as being new.

Lot's of new and exciting ventures are on the horizon, not only for me, but for you, and the whole world as well. Embrace every moment as a new moment, a moment of satori. I promise you it will be refreshing.